Our choices make us who we are

SCOTT THOMPSON
The Hamilton Spectator
Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Do you know someone who cheats on their spouse? Do you know someone who is less than honest in business or personal affairs? Do you know someone who lied on a resume to get ahead or abuses drugs and or alcohol?

Should we feel guilty or bad for doing the above? After all, no one is perfect.
Everyone has faults. Everyone has vices that need a fix.

All we have to do is look toward the media to see people who are more important than us behaving worse than we are. Therefore it must be OK.

Recently we heard of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s scandalous affair with a woman who had been working for his family. She had a child with the terminator 13 years ago which he has been secretly supporting. This was all news to his wife of 25 years Maria Shriver and their family of four kids.

Than there’s IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn who was charged with sexually assaulting a cleaning lady at a hotel he was staying at. The man once considered a French presidential candidate has resigned from his post and is now awaiting trial.

And let’s not forget Charlie Sheen, although with these new incidents, his life seems old news now. Did these people not learn anything from the Mel Gibsons, Bernie Madoffs or Tiger Woods of the world?

Ashley Madison.com is a website for married folk who need an affair. Its advertising sell line is “Life is short. Have an affair.” Perhaps leaving some thinking, life is short, so it must be OK now.
While some are appalled by bad behaviour, others may use it to justify or reaffirm their own short comings.

There are always exceptions and justifications. But you, and those around you, have to be aware and able to live with them.

Tom Watson, author of Man Shoes: The Journey to Becoming a Better Man, Husband & Father, said on CHML, it’s all about choice and the decisions you make. He should know, he spent his early childhood in 13 different foster homes, was abused, and “left for dead” before an older couple tried to mentor him.
They taught him he was responsible for his own actions, his life and happiness. It was through their guidance he learned a formula that would save his life.

My choice + My actions = My Life. You choose the life you want to live. You choose the person you want to be.
It sounds so simple, but why is it so hard? Watson says, “Because we’re human, we’re selfish.”

He compares life to sales; it may take years before the information is absorbed and a purchase made. That is why mentorships are so important all through life, he adds, they bridge the gap between the lesson and the epiphany. The learning never stops.

Find someone who has the qualities in life you value and want to improve. Absorb as much as you can plus teach your kids to look for strong mentors and keep them in their lives, too.
Hopefully, you will then want to help others. It’s a win/win as you’re not only inspiring; you have learned to give more of yourself instead of always looking out for yourself.

Is it possible to change? The author says yes, rebirth is possible at any age.
You have to start by taking stock. Look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Are you the person you really want to be? Realize no one is perfect, but can you be better?

Make a list of things you want to improve and don’t be afraid to ask advice from those you admire.
Find your formula for happiness and live the lifestyle.

It’s similar to an overweight person who has tried every diet with no success. It’s not about finding the perfect weight loss diet, it’s about changing the choices you’re making and the actions you take that equal an unhealthy life.

It’s about changing your life style to fit the person you want to be.
Unless, of course, you’re happy, productive and a good parent being selfish.

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The Scott Thompson Show airs weekdays noon — 3 p.m. on News/Talk 900 CHML. ScottThompsonTalk.com